My husband Andy and I have never had it easy. We’ve always had to fight to be together. We didn’t get to date or have a “normal” relationship.
We met and then had a long distance relationship for a year. Everyone thinks that long distance relationships are difficult. Actually, that was the easy part. You know that someone out there loves you but you’re still living your life on your terms. There isn’t any need to compromise. And as anyone can tell you, marriage and coupledom is all about compromises.
That was all about to change.
My beloved cat Slash had died and I called Andy for consolation. Slash was the main thing holding me back from moving to the UK. Well, that and being asked to move there.
Andy brought the subject up during that phone call and I asked him how soon he wanted me in the UK. “Tomorrow,” he said. I replied, “I can’t do tomorrow, how does April work for you?” And that was it.
We had some bumps along the way that go hand-in-hand with moving to a new country.
My lovely Englishman told me that using the tumble dryer (which happened to be in the garage, wtf?) cost something like $9 for each load. I line-dried my clothes for a few months. Flipping through the Sunday Times led to me to an article where I found out he was lying and it really only cost a couple of pence. I never line-dried our clothes again.
As a tourist you are only allowed to be in the UK for six months at a time so I had to return home for two months. During the time I was home, Andy came to visit and I took him on a Las Vegas getaway for a few days. That’s when we got engaged.
After that, I almost didn’t get back into the UK. I was detained at Heathrow for 5 hours and was told that my best hope was that they would let me stay for a day or two before I would be returned to the States at my own expense. And by detained I mean I was put in a room with all the “bad” people. That’s a whole other blog post but due to Andy’s quick thinking they ended up letting me stay.
I planned our destination wedding for 30 people in Las Vegas from the UK. Hello 8-hour time difference! That was fun. I’m still a bit sad that I never got a bridal shower.
I was reasonably happy in the UK but I never felt at home. I longed for Detroit. December of 2008 might just be the worst time in history to have moved to Detroit but we made it work.
Andy had difficulty finding work, mainly because people didn’t understand how his qualifications and experience in the UK transferred over here. Even online applications were problematic, not allowing for British postal codes.
He ended up starting two businesses that keep growing every day. Looking back on it, December of 2008 might have been the best time ever to move to Detroit. We had to think outside the box and make our own future.
We got through all of that but it’s always a fight. We’ve always had to fight to be together and against other people’s perceptions, common sense, immigration, etc. One of us will always be far away from our friends and family.
Yes, I complain about him complaining all the time. Yes, he talks a lot. We see the world through different colored glasses, mine are pink and rosy and his are tinted slightly towards black.
But.
Andy is the most loyal man I have ever met. He winks at me when I need it most. He trusts me and he believes in me. He’s my biggest fan. He makes me laugh. Oh, and the accent is pretty awesome too!
So, this is my Valentine to my husband. I don’t work without you. You make me who I am. Exploring Detroit by myself just wouldn’t be as much fun. I need you. All of this would be for naught without you.
You + me = love worth fighting for.